Wellbeing tip #2: Wellbeing through Connection

The second of a monthly series where I’ll offer some suggestions for tools and strategies that can help with our well-being.

Each one of us is different, and what one person finds helpful, may not resonate with others. 

We may find that what has helped previously, may not be connecting with us in the same way in the present.

Or you may have a well-established set of tools that are ‘tried and trusted’, but you’d like to add some more.

It is my hope that these tips will give you some ideas. 

February: connection

When was the last time that you sat with someone and had a catch up?  No screens, no devices, no distractions; just you, them and conversation. 

Or perhaps a group of people, maybe taking part in an activity, a common interest that you all share? 

What about when you last looked up from your phone whilst ordering your morning coffee to say hello to the person behind the counter and ask how they are?

Or said hello to a stranger as you walked past them on your commute or whilst walking the dog?

In a world where we are increasingly on our phones, or rushing from A to B, it can be difficult to remember the power of human connection.

It can be argued that we are connecting all the time; that we do this every time we send a what’s app, or email, or when we are sat in the meeting or have a phone conversation.  Or when we look on social media, ‘like’ a post or engage with a ‘story’, or indeed do the posting.

And yes, this would be right.  This is connection, but is it meaningful connection?

For some, yes, it is.  It might be the only connection that someone has during their day, particularly in a world which can sometimes feel isolating and lonely.  It might be a person’s only connection to the ‘outside’ world, to others within it, or it might be a way of connecting when life feels busy and perhaps overwhelming.  It can feel manageable to send a message, or click on a post, when time to pick up the phone or stop for a moment seems sparse.  In situations such as these, moments of connection such as these can be invaluable. 

Yet it can also be transactional. 

It can lack meaning, and leave us feeling increasingly alone, or empty.  The impact of it can be short, fleeting, only putting a drop into our energy cup, rather than filling it.

But what about those other moments?  The ones that I mentioned at the beginning of this post, or others like it. 

How did you feel after those? 

After you’ve spent time with people who were important to you, those with whom you feel seen and heard, who leave you feeling valued?  Where you feel that you belong?  A phrase often used – ‘your tribe’?

Did it leave you feeling uplifted?  Valued, perhaps? 

You might have had a thought about how nice it was to catch up, to laugh and share.  Or you might have experienced a feeling of enjoyment, of happiness. 

We often hear the phrase ‘that was just what I needed’, implying that it has filled our cup in some way, filled our heart and soul, replenished and recharged.

That in that moment, the challenges and chores of our every day lives may have been temporarily forgotten, or remembered but heard and supported, leaving them feeling more manageable than they did before.

That is the power of connection, of meaningful human connection.

It can reduce feelings of stress, anxiety and depression. 

It can create a feeling of belonging, purpose and community.

It can increase our resilience and influence the way that we see the world.

It can influence how we see ourselves and our worth.

It can bring some brightness to an otherwise grey day.

But when things feel difficult, or when the thought of connecting feels overwhelming, or uncertain, what steps can we take?

Below are some hints and tips:

·       Start small – you don’t need a large social circle to experience the benefits of connection.  You also don’t need to start with a group gathering or event.  A first step might be to reach out to one person, perhaps arrange to meet up in a café for a coffee or pick up the phone and ask them about their day. 

·       Make time – make time for meaningful conversations with loved ones.  You could perhaps schedule regular catchups or make a note in your diary of when you want to give someone a call; make it an important, blocked out, part of your day, similar to that 10am meeting, or 7pm gym session.  You could even invite a friend along to that session with you!  Express your appreciation for the people in your life who bring you joy.

·       Seek out shared experiences – find activities that you enjoy and that also provide an opportunity for you to connect with likeminded individuals.  You could perhaps join a club or class, volunteer, or attend an event.

·       Be present – put away the phone, or switch off the tv/device, and engage with the people around you.  This might be when engaging in a conversation with someone, or when sat in an environment where opportunities to interact with others, even briefly, might present themselves.  Take a moment to be present and absorb the world around you.  Actively listen, ask questions, be curious and show interest in others.  Take a moment to step away from the world and connect.